Can over helping hurt? This can appear to be rather counter intuitive?
Coach Rev Wendy a Officiant for ceremonies spiritual life coaching and guest speaking a wedding ceremony officiant, renewals of vows baby christenings memorial services divorce ceremonies, pet ceremonies. Wendy speaks of her own experience of not being heard, receiving lots of help, but how it takes away independent choice, and being dependent. Loss of independence.
I invited Wendy to The Dream Receiver Show when I heard her speech on When Helping Hurts. Wendy and I discuss how our intentions are positive in helping others yet over helping can rob our loved ones from their own experiences. Listening rather than advising. Helping others is gratifying in its own way. Wendy uses the metaphor of a cocoon being picked open by someone who’s intention is to help the caterpillar. Only to find out the caterpillar dies due to not having the strength of working through the cocoon.
Wendy describes how you can recognize you are over helping when you help, then you help again, then you help again and again. It must be a balance and knowing when to hold em and knowing when to fold em. Knowing when to walk away and let the caterpillar become who it has come here to be. By listening and not jumping into advising. Allowing our loved ones to be heard and come up with their own answers. Even if there are some struggles the caterpillar must do in order to become stronger. Rather than leaving the caterpillar weak by doing all the struggles for them.
I absolutely adore Wendy, please be in touch with her to learn more. Similar to the word, co-dependenct which is someone who cannot function on their own and whose thinking and behaviour is instead organized around another person, process, or substance. Many co-dependents place a lower priority on their own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others.
Regrets can occur if helping others are not in balance with taking care of yourself. Similar to showing, how to get out of a cocoon rather than cutting the cocoon open for them. Enjoy the show. Tune in to the episode and check out Wendy’s link on how you can get in touch with her for Wedding ceremonies, Celebrations of life and more.
Rev Wendy Yacboski http://weddingceremonyvancouver.ca/
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